A sweet heavenly surprise she was. The thought of having another child terrified us but the possibility of a baby girl made us smile and dream of endless tea parties and giggles, tutus and everything pink. So, we began to make room for this new life God blessed us with.

I’ll never forget the morning the doctor called. It was odd, normally the nurse would call with lab results but I sat smiling in my car as she told me she had the results of my lab work. I assumed everything was fine and anxiously waited for her to tell me the gender of our child.

“It’s a girl!” she said but with a hint of hesitation. I immediatly squeeled and could feel the first of many tears falling from my eyes. She stopped and said “there’s something else…”

Read More

Having another child was not on our agenda. We had Boogey and he was a handful. We poured everything we had into him. Given that my pregnancy with him was (emotionally) one of the hardest things I’ve gone through, we both decided that one child was all we could handle.

It been almost two years since the affair and everything was different. Our marriage was in a beautiful place. So, we began to talk about having another child.

I had my fears. So we prayed it about it.

Read More

Fires can be deadly however fires are necessary. It’s necessary for survival. It provides warmth, sterilization, light and can even be used as a distress signal.

Our marriage had been burning for years. Slowly but surely. We ignored it as much as we could but just like any fire, without an effort to extinguish, it will eventually consume everything in its path.

The truth is our marriage fell apart long before the affair. For us, we were both to blame. We loved out of selfishness, unwilling to learn and provide what the other needed. The affair hurt me beyond words. There isn’t enough time to begin to describe what I felt. Just like the pain I caused Papa, by purposely shutting him out, could never be put into words.

Read More

To start a fire you need three things: fuel, heat and oxygen. You can’t have a fire without all three. Separately, they are all safe and all needed for a different purpose. But when together, they can make a deadly combination.

Our marriage had its own combustible components: Control, unhealthy communication and mistrust; and it all came together to a point of ignition that completely burned our marriage to the ground…or so it seemed

Read More

It’s easy to write about all the butterflies and loving kisses. Its hard to write about when and where things went wrong or how pain slid into the gaps of our relationship. 

Two years into our relationship, Jaden was born. On January 18, 2008, just two months before his 1stbirthday, we were married. No time for a wedding, Papa received orders to deploy so we said our “I dos” at the courthouse. Thirty days later, he left for Cuba. The 1st 6 months of our marriage was spent writing love letters to one another, skyping when we could and quick phone calls throughout the week. 

Read More

I still remember the first time I saw him…On the weekends, I would come home to wait tables at a restaurant in Dallas. Papa was in the Air Force and was recently relocated back to Texas. Needing something to do, he got a job at the same restaurant. It was love at 1st sight. We locked eyes and I knew he would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with…doesn’t that sound romantic? Here’s what actually happened…I saw him and I went on about my business. I can say, he had his eyes on me. Soon after, we were introduced; opening the door for him to slowly squeeze his way in.

Read More

I was home one weekend from college, in my room, sitting on the bed, crying. I was tired. I was broken and I was alone. In walks Deshawn. My then 3-year-old nephew. He quietly walks past me and into the bathroom. Seconds later, he emerges with one small piece of tissue paper. He climbs onto the bed and sits right next to me. He reaches up, wipes the tears from my face and holds my hand. He didn’t say a word, he never asked me what was wrong, he just sat there quietly while I cried. Every now and then wiping the tears from my face…

Read More

I was 18 years old. Lying on a hospital bed. Alone. Tears were running down my face when the doctor and nurse walked in. Nothing was really said. No warm or reassuring smiles, nothing. The nurse took my arm and inserted an IV. I can still feel the initial sting from the fluids rushing into my veins. So much so I clinched my eyes closed even tighter as more tears began to run down my face. I didn’t want to look at them. I could still hear the cries of protestors outside the fence that lined the clinic. I could still see the signs even with my eyes closed…but I couldn’t bare to look at the doctor or the nurse…because I was ashamed…

Read More

 I was sixteen. Sitting on the floor of my bedroom closet. Alone. In the dark. It’s hard to explain what led to that moment. All that mattered is I was there. The darkness of the closet was a mere reflection of what I believed to be my life. While the appearance of happiness could be seen at school and in the presence of family, I was anything but. I was struggling to love me. I was struggling with acceptance. I was struggling with what God said vs what the enemy said. At that moment, the enemy was winning…

Read More

There’s an estimated 7.7 billion people in the world today. Which means there are 7.7 billion people who have a unique story to tell. I always find myself wondering about those stories. Not just my loved ones but the strangers who walk beside me every day. I wonder about their happiness, their pain, their struggles and their victories. I know that every smile doesn’t equate to happiness, money doesn’t mean fulfillment and admiration doesn’t mean you’re not drowning in loneliness. A passing smile can be a blanket used to hide pain and regret…

Read More