Marriage Monday: "Scheduling Sexy Time" Edition
Adulting is hard. We can all agree on that. Adulting while raising three little people and managing a household makes things a little more complicated and oftentimes leaves both Papa and me with little time for ourselves.
Not to mention smexy time
This year, I’ve been determined to be more intentional with my time, making sure every day is filled with purpose and intention. In order to make that happen, I schedule everything so that I can move through my day knowing what needs to be done and what takes priority over others. That Includes SEX!
Look, I know scheduling sex with your significant other sounds very un-sexy but listen…
Papa and I work very different schedules. On the days that he’s home, he’s playing catch up with the kids, cooking (yall know I don’t cook), and a number of other things. We’d fall into bed with every intention of wrestling together (lol) but end up watching an episode of Euphoria and falling asleep. Our conflicting schedules and over-exhausting children made it very difficult for us to prioritize that much-needed quality time together. And trust me, it was causing some serious tension.
*In walks my calendar*
After having a conversation about our frustrations, we agreed on a sex calendar. Meeting in the middle about the number of days and the best times, we filled our month with special ‘Date nights/days. Agreeing that those times were nonnegotiable and we would both hold each other accountable to maintain this commitment. That doesn’t mean we’ve gotten rid of the romance or the spontaneity that comes with sexy time but we’ve added in the idea of being very intentional. Using the same concept of scheduling date nights, Scheduling sex can demonstrate a commitment to your relationship, improve communication, and guarantee quality time. The anticipation for those days has actually reignited a spark. Making us get a lot more creative with how we use that time!
Here are a few tips for scheduling sex with your partner!
1. Set a goal & be realistic!
We’d all like to think we can commit to having sex 8 times a week but don’t set your hopes too high! If you and your partner can’t agree on a number, try meeting each other in the middle.
2. Clarify your expectations
What do you want to get out of the sex calendar? Do you want more intimacy? More romance? Is foreplay always required? Get specific with your wants and needs. This is the perfect time to have those dirty conversations! Let your partner know exactly what you need out of this arrangement.
3. Write it down
Literally, write it down! Whether you’re using paper and pen or the calendar on your phone, once you agree on dates write them down. Set reminders on your phone so you can mentally and physically prepare yourself for those special days.
4. Do your best to stick with the schedule
Commit! Commit! Commit! A sex calendar is a way to hold you accountable for the intimacy of your relationship. Take it seriously and make those days nonnegotiable.
5. Lean into the anticipation
Let the excitement build throughout the day! Remember, foreplay doesn’t have to be physical. Find sexy ways to remind your partner of your scheduled days and how excited you are for some alone time!
Scheduling sex may sound like another task on your never-ending to-do list. However, when both partners are in agreement and have communicated their wants and needs it can be a blessing! Scheduling sex demonstrates a commitment to your relationship and a willingness to better yourself in an effort to meet your partner’s needs. It can improve overall communication and ensure much-needed quality time.