How we perceive love is shaped during our childhood.

How we love others is essentially a byproduct of that perception.

My dad was a handyman. He could fix, build, and create anything. My fondest childhood memories centered around the playhouse my dad built for me. It was my own little home: complete with wall to wall carpet, a table, and a chair.

Growing up, watching my father take his time to build and create made me feel loved, seen, and cared for. Not just the things he did for me had an impact. Watching how he cared for my mother and the things he did for her helped me create a positive idea of what love was about. From helping her carry her bags in after work, walking her out the door every morning, putting gas in her car, the list goes on and on, from the biggest things to the smallest. It was those acts of service that shaped my love language.

When I met Papa he soon learned that gifts and fancy dates weren’t what made me fall in love with him (Don’t get me wrong, those things were nice). It was the time he took to show me he cared for me that made me feel seen, heard, and loved.

For Mother’s Day this year, I asked Papa to refinish my grandmother’s dining room table. My Grandmother passed away some years ago and I was gifted her almost 100-year-old dining room table. He gladly accepted the task and worked hard to complete it. The table turned out beautifully. Watching him complete it with great detail made me feel loved and cherished. I was worth his time and energy. It would have been easier to buy me another table or pay someone else to do it but he knew the importance behind me asking him to complete it.

Because acts of service is my love language…

At one point, when things weren’t the best in our marriage, we were reminded of how important it is to continue loving each other with intention and purpose, using the love language of one another. It’s easy to love someone how you want to be loved. But by doing so, we miss the purpose of love. Love is an action and to love unselfishly we must do so by using the language that best suite the ones we love.

This goes for how we love our children. I’ve learned that each of my children speaks a different love language and I have to meet them where they are for them to know, understand, and feel loved.

That’s one of the most important lessons we learn about our children…how to love them. It takes listening to them, paying attention to what they respond too, and being willing to love them the way their little hearts need to be loved. Because when we don’t, they develop their own version of love or someone else will teach them. It’s through us loving them that they learn what healthy love looks like.

Otherwise, the world will teach them.

I’m thankful for the love lessons I received as a child. Lessons learned from simply watching a man love with intention and purpose.

I pray the love Papa and I share will teach our babies those same lessons of love…

Labors of Love